Sunday, 5 July 2009

The Return to Uni

Finally, today is the day where yours truly is going back to resume University life again. =)

Just doing a final check on all the things that I'm suppose to bring over to the Uni. Done packing earlier, few months ago. So basically there's nothing much left to do at the moment.


I am just counting the minutes, waiting for afternoon time to arrive, and then I'll be heading off to the University compound, which is approximately 10 minutes drive from home.

I know that I will certainly miss home very much indeed. Everytime I need to go back to stay in the Uni hostel, I will surely feel slightly emo, and I'll be reminiscing about all the past memories of my first year there. *sigh*

But good news is that I get to go home once in a while each week. Thank God for that! =)

Just hope everything goes well over there~

Saturday, 4 July 2009

Tangled up




04-07-09 was today's date. I had this strong urge to complain that the date was to be blamed for all these terrible feelings that hit me today.

I don't know what happened. I don't know why or how did it happened.

Somehow today I had this "down in the drain" kinda feeling.

All of my feelings are just mixed up into one big mess.

Tangled up feelings intertwined inside of me...

You ask me how am I feeling... ... Disappointed? Sad? or what?

I seriously dont know!



BUT...



I do know that I just don't feel right.


Fourth of July

Yes, today is 4th of July. Just want to say that the number four is a number that I really dislike! Sorry but I have to say this. I think if you are well aware, the chinese people sort of have the tendency to not like this number!

Well, the reason I dislike this number isn't really because I am a Chinese. For some reason, I find that number four is really scary. It seems that there's a high chance that I don't have a nice mood on any days that has the number 4 there. =_="

Hmm.. I know today is some sorta the Independence Day for the people in United States. Therefore, I shall take this opportunity to wish those who celebrate, a Happy 4th of July! Be patriotic and celebrate this event if you do live in the States yea. Have fun! =)


Friday, 3 July 2009

Tiring but fun Nature Trip

Just came back from a family outing to the SouthWest area of Sarawak.

Paid a visit to the nearby mountains, caves, sea, and beaches. It was a very new experience for me, and it certainly opened my eyes widely. LOL!

I had to say I learn a great deal of things about nature & life there. Thanks to daddykins who is willing to take leave just to bring us out there. =D

What a good learning opportunity! Plus also the chance for us to view great sceneries. Hehe~


Lots of pics to come. Will do a proper blog post about it soon. Stay tuned~

Much love all.
XOXO

Wednesday, 1 July 2009

Uncertainties

To think of how fast time flies, and now that my semester break holidays are almost coming to an end, and that another whole new semester of studies are going to start soon... it all sorta gives me a strange kind of feeling.

I am anxious for the coming days, and yet at the same time, I am also feeling nervous & wondering if everything will go just fine and smooth sailing.

Feelings of uncertainty fill me up...

I wanted to do OH SO MUCH things, but I also knew that the time is OH SO LIMITED!

And then I started praying and hoping...

I know that at this moment, I can only wish for the best...


July oh July...

Please treat me nice...

I promise I'll behave...

I need a nice new tweet widget!

It was quite a free & easy day for me today. I went online Facebook-ing, playing some games, updating statuses on Twitter & Plurk, and doing my usual rounds.

While I was checking my blog, I started to wonder what happen to the trustworthy Twitter widget which I had installed long ago. It seemed to be not working since months ago and yet it didn’t occurred in my mind to find out what was wrong.


And then today out of nowhere, I went to check on it. Found out that TwitterCard was over-popular-rated and access to it was now disabled. For the moment, only Wordpress users can install it again. =’(


And all the while I thought there was some loading error going on. Silly me! =_=”

Y’know, TwitterCard was such an awesome compact twitter widget which enables me to display a mini card that shows my recent status, picture, and bio. And now, NO MORE ALREADY!! *wails*

Oh well, I shall try to find other substitutes for it. At the moment, I’m using TwitterButtons. Still searching for a nicer, better widget though. Any recommendations? =P

Friday, 26 June 2009

Taking a step back

Once, there was an ancient chinese saying: " 退一步,海阔天空。。。" that I find it to be quite true. Don't believe? Try experimenting it, and you'll eventually see. =)

Previously, my mind has been actively working hardworkingly. I spent much of my time just thinking. And I’ve come to a great deal of realisation on a few facts, or rather to say, truth.

People always say truth hurts. But I can deal with truths, much better than having to face with lies.

Sometimes if one gives out much and receive less, they tend to get tired sooner, feel unworthy of, and be hurted more. (Note: do bear in mind that the term ‘give’ I’m mentioning here, does not refer to material kind of giving, but it refers to mental/ spiritual kind of giving!)

People always say giving is better than receiving. But somehow I find that one should not give too much to those who receive much and yet gives less/never give.

Sometimes if one cares about another much and yet they are less cared of, they tend to feel neglected and often ponders upon the reasons why.

People always say sharing is caring. But what if you always share and yet seldom get the share from others? Or what if you shared, and it is no difference if compared to not sharing at all?


--------------------------------------------
“A joy shared is doubled the joy.”

and

“A sorrow shared is half the sorrow.”
--------------------------------------------

Both these quotes I find not necessarily true at all times.
What if the other person doesn’t even treats the joy/sorrow you share as something significant? Do you feel even more joyous/ less sorrower about it? No right.

People say true selfless happiness appears when you are happy for other's success as well, not that you are only happy of your own success.

We need to learn to be happy for others, and what's more, to count their success as our success and feel proud of the contribution we've made in helping them. That being said, it's important that we feel happy for the success others and never feel that another's success diminishes us in any way.

Learning to be happy for the success of others will help you to attract more of that into your life - more happiness, more success. =)


*** *** *** *** *** ***


I have decided.
I will change myself.
There will be a whole new me starting from July onwards. *determined*

I will do what I love to do.
I will focus & study hard for my final year studies.
I will spare time for my loved ones no matter how busy I am.
I will find my own ways to happiness.

I will no longer do things that are not worth doing.
I will not listen to sad Korean songs during the sad times. I need to listen to those hot, bitchy, feel good songs by PCD, Pink, Britney Spears and so on.
I will not sink myself in depression. I need to save myself out of it and cheer myself up.

I've realised that I've been foolish for long. Now it's time to be a different ME!

New rules.
New ways.
New ME.

I realised that I've been unselfish long enough. It's time to be more realistic.

No more late nights.
No more sacrifices.
No more feeling-ful.

I realised that I’ve been slightly over dependent on others. It’s time to be more independent.

No matter joy or sorrow..
No matter well or unwell..
No matter healthy or sick..
No matter sweet, salty, bitter, sour, spicy or whatever taste it is..
I shall endure it with strong will and all the strength I possess.
I shall find solutions to overcome all by myself.

I will stop thinking much. It's time to rest my mind and leave things as it is. What has already happened cannot be undone. It seems that this is the only resort.

Well, it’s another few more days to July. And a few days is all I need, to work things out.

End of story.

CIAO~

Wednesday, 24 June 2009

Dot Dot

Few hours ago, I was on the air plane. Leaving from KL back to where I came from. It was a smooth sailing journey, as I considered so. This was because the ride wasn't really bumpy, and I get to see a wonderful view from the window next to my seat.

Somehow I always tend to get hit by emo feelings whenever I'm leaving from one place to another. *sigh* As I stare out through the window, I saw so many white cottony clouds. Suddenly everything outside seems so beautiful.

I figured out that perhaps it was God's blessing. The colours of the sunshine rays, skies, clouds, lands, and everything. Just seem so nice today! =) God had create things to be of such wonders. And that it all manage to cheer me up on this particular day. The weather was nice. I think I saw sunset while I was up in the air. LOL!

Anyhow, while on the airplane, there were just so many kinds of different thoughts stirring through my mind. I was feeling slightly drowzy yet I couldn't really sleep. I put everything aside and just focus on the scenery. What a pity to say that my camera's battery went out and I couldn't capture any pics of the amazing scene outside. =(

Trains of thoughts keep crossing through my mind. I knew I had to find a solution, a way through all these challenges.

With neither pen nor paper to pen down my thoughts. I just had to let it be. What will be remembered, will be remembered.

One thing I realised while I was up in Genting earlier, I had lotsa free time to watch crowds of people walking around, observe their actions, therefore it leads me to come to a some sorta conclusion.

I know that in this world, there are millions of people. Yes. But I also know that among those millions of people, I found you, you found me, and we found each other. Therefore we should always appreciate each other, and cherish the time we get to spend together.

Another interesting thought I came across while pondering...


It is just like the interior wallpaper design of an aircraft. Lots of dots that symbolizes the many people in this world. Of different origins, personality and background. Yet they are unaware of what will happen next in their lives, who they will get to know, and so on. All of them have chances, regardless of the frequency.

Sometimes although two dots are just next to each other, they might not even really know one another. And sometimes two dots might be located at a far distance, but we cannot ignore the fact that there might be a possibility for those dots to come to acquaintance with one another. Anything can happen. And all these... is LIFE!

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